Sometimes to save your relationship, you must make concessions and apologize. If you want to screw up your marriage, don’t bother saying sorry, even if you’re completely in the wrong. The truth is, when you have a close personal relationship with anyone, there will be times they disappoint you or you disappoint them. Marriages are no different. A great way to move past that friction is to apologize, so if you want to screw up your marriage, just don’t.
The problem with apologizing is that it lets your partner know that you understand that they are upset, that you regret what you did to hurt them, and that you want to take active steps to avoid hurting them like that in the future. If you’re deep in a fight, an apology can help bring that fight to an end, so to keep the conflict going and the tension high, don’t give your partner the satisfaction of an apology. Here’s why. Chances are, even when there is a small conflict, your partner is probably waiting for an apology from you. To screw up your marriage, withhold that apology.
Another pro tip is to refuse to apologize, even if your partner does. Sometimes, a conflict can be the fault of more than one person. Perhaps you both said some things you didn’t mean when the situation got heated and your partner has decided to be the bigger person and offer the first apology. By refusing even then to say you’re sorry, you tell your partner loud and clear that you don’t think you did anything wrong and you don’t see your mind changing. Plus, since they’ve already stepped up to be the bigger person, you might as well continue being the smaller one.
Remember, to have a successful marriage, both partners need to own the relationship. When you say sorry, you are taking responsibility for your actions and your half of the relationship. To screw up your marriage, never own your half, no matter how frustrated it leaves your partner or how wrong you are. To take your marriage ruining skills to the next level, avoid opportunities for self-improvement. If your partner suggests that you both work on conflict resolution skills, shoot them down. If you want to screw up your marriage, never own your mistakes, never own your relationship, and never apologize.