How To Screw Up Your Marriage – Step 1 – Don’t Commit

Is your spouse getting on your nerves? Want to get rid of them without being seen as the bad guy? Use this flawless strategy to show a lack of commitment.

Don’t spend quality time together, or even better if you do. Bring your toxic mother who hates them. Making comments like – “this is so much fun, isn’t it mummy” will highlight your commitment to your mother over all else, even your spouse.

If a good looking specimen walks past while you are with your spouse, make sure to stare. For extra effect, wipe your mouth as if removing drool. Roll Your eyes in annoyance if this makes them insecure or upset; you have enough problems without considering their insignificant feelings.

Don’t support their hobbies or interests. The absolute best approach to this is to appear supportive by allowing them to join a club or purchase associated supplies they need. Then make sure you make plans every time they are about to partake in their hobby. When they get upset or resentful, remind them that they are married now and having their interests is selfish. Even better, get emotional and make them feel so guilty they no longer want their hobby.

If you find yourself having a different perspective on something, talk about your reasoning or feelings under no circumstances. This mature behavior might result in positive and clear communication, and you don’t have time for that. It will result in your spouse also expecting to discuss their perspective. See this as an opportunity to show you are always right and expect to win all arguments at any cost. After all, someone has to be wrong; make sure they know it’s never you.

Never under any conditions, make your spouse a priority. Ensure you have a best friend that has their birthday on the 14th of February. Remind them that birthdays are a personal and important event and that Valentine’s Day is just a commercialized holiday designed to boost retail sales. Make plans with your best friend every year and never celebrate Valentine’s Day with your spouse. Do not set a precedent for romance and the appearance that your spouse has priority over friends. This type of behavior is a slippery slope, my friend, and you are married now. There is no need for romance or courting.

Make sure your spouse abandons all their dreams and goals in life. There is only room in a marriage for one successful person, and that person is you. Keep them realistic by being negative with comments like:

“You don’t have time to study. Who will raise the children.”
“Why do you need a career? I make enough money for both of us.”
“You need to be available to take care of my mother when she needs care in her old age.”

Using the above foolproof tips, or even just continually enforcing a couple, will lead to plummeting self-esteem in your spouse and eventually resentment. Leading to an eventual parting of ways.