People often say that the strongest relationships are built on open and honest communication, so naturally, the first step in screwing up your marriage is to stop communicating with your partner altogether. The great thing about this method is that it can apply to virtually any situation. For example, if you’re in the mood to start a quick argument, when your partner asks what you feel like eating for dinner, tell them that you don’t care, even if you do. This not only allows you to feel frustrated with your partner for failing to predict your wants and needs, but has the added effect of leaving you feeling unsatisfied. If you’re lucky, it might even ruin your whole night. You can also use this method for more serious situations. Upset about something that your partner said in front of your extended family over the holidays? No problem. Rather than address and quash it, let it fester until you begin to feel resentment towards your partner for not realizing you are upset or apologizing. You will never fully resolve the situation or put it behind you, but you’ll also save valuable time and energy that would otherwise be spent telling your partner how you feel. Feeling work stress, financial woes, or parenting anxiety? Internalize it. Not only will the stress compound until it practically swallows you whole, you will also always have a great reason to snap at your partner while doing nothing to fix any of the problems that are causing you stress in the first place. Remember, in harmonious marriages, partners are just that–partners. By removing the element of communication from your marriage, you can ensure that you and your partner are not only playing on different teams but perhaps playing different sports altogether.
Failing to communicate with your partner also protects you from having to feel vulnerable or open up to your partner in any meaningful way. If you have been with your spouse for a long time, you might think, what’s more to know? And you’d be exactly right. Communicating means putting in the hard work that keeps a relationship vibrant, fresh, and exciting. If you want to screw up your marriage, instead of talking to your partner over a meal, play on your phone. Instead of doing activities together, just don’t bother. One of the most powerful non-communication tools is failing to let your partner know that you value and appreciate them, so distancing yourself in this way helps you to do just that.
Communication can make or break a marriage. If you want to guarantee that your needs are never met, that your resentment levels reach an all-time high, and that you and your spouse stop growing as a couple, follow this advice and you will be well on your way to screwing up your marriage in no time.