One of the best ways to quickly destroy your marriage is to only make decisions based on your feelings. The great thing about going by your feelings and emotions is that you never really have to confirm why you’re upset with your spouse before you get upset with them. You can think, “I feel like they are not supporting me,” without critically thinking about whether any steps your partner has taken qualify as support. If you’re going by your feelings, you never have to worry about being wrong because it is a truly subjective measure. Unfortunately, what is right to you might be wrong to your spouse, who has their own subjective views on the situation. Luckily, if you want to screw up your marriage, this really doesn’t matter.
Another great thing about only going by your feelings is that you can channel your emotional energy into some top-notch outbursts. If you thought your fights were explosive before, wait until you have the weight of sadness, anger, happiness, and anything else you can think of behind you as you go into a fight. You’ll likely say many, many things you don’t mean. You might even say them in public or in front of your friends and family. The good news is, at least in the moment, you won’t care because you have all kinds of emotions whispering in your ears and telling you it’s time to fight. Of course, you’ll have to pick up the piece and emotional fallout after the fact but the instant gratification is hard to beat.
By only acting based on your emotions, you can forfeit all your logic and reason to almost guarantee you and your partner do not have productive conversations. If you want to screw up your marriage, you shouldn’t be productively working towards anything, especially conflict resolution, so lean hard into your emotions. Since you won’t be talking things through, keep in mind that you’ll probably end up in a bad headspace. Any anxiety, stress, and mistrust you were already feeling will be amplified, making only acting on your emotions a fast track to marriage dissolution. If you want to screw up your marriage, don’t pause and reflect before acting or speaking. Let your emotions guide you no matter the consequences.