The Co-Parenting Letter

A key tool that many parents fail to use is the co-parenting letter. This is a letter that can be written multiple times for multiple occasions. The importance of the letter is found in the considerations the court gives for co-parenting efforts. This is a statutory factor the court must weigh when awarding custody. Make this part of your case easier by implementing a co-parenting letter campaign.

Here is how you do it. Start with a letter seeking peace. This is used to break the ice. Use this letter to outline your desire for amicable solutions, relationships and outcomes. As a peace keeper you will be better positioned for legitimacy. In addition to seeking peace, ask for information. Whatever you may not know ask about it. Ask about routines of the child. Ask about allergies, disciplinary issues, household issues, etc. Anything that can allow you to create as much seamless transition for the child as possible.

In addition use the letter as a way to offer information about you. Many of the fights occur because there is a lack of understanding of both sides. Use this letter not as a way to try and convince the other parent that your way is correct or right but as an insight into your thought processes and parenting style. Use the co-parenting letter as a way to make requests. Don’t ask for an overall increase in time, but consider asking for a few hours extra here or there to take a trip, watch a movie or enjoy an event.

Finally, use the co-parenting letter as a way to address co-parenting concerns. Offer solutions, ask questions and seek input from the other side. As you can see from this information a co-parenting letter can be a one time letter or multiple letters over time. From our experience it is best to do these letters consistently and over time. They also don’t have to be official letters sent by snail mail. You can send the letters by email. The important thing with these letters is to do it consistently, legitimately and to keep record of them. This way you can use the letters as evidence in the future of your attempts to co-parent.

The best thing about these letters, it doesn’t matter what sort of response you receive. You will have created evidence to use in your case that shows your efforts and diligence at co-parenting. If you obtain the information and positive traction then great. If you do not then you can use such evidence to show who is more likely to promote a positive relationship. These tips can be key to prevailing in a custody case. To find out other ways to help your custody case contact us at or calling us at 505-880-8737.